Welcome to the home of Steadfast Daughters in a Quivering World, a biblical response to the “quivering daughters” (QD) movement that originated from Hillary McFarland’s book (and blog), Quivering Daughters: Hope and Healing for the Daughters of Patriarchy.
Supporters of QD claim to be on a crusade against “patriocentricity,” fundamentalism, emotional and spiritual abuse, authoritarianism, and legalism. If that were entirely true, we would and should cheer them on! However, according to the writings of some QD proponents, the line between solid biblical teaching and true abuse is blurry at best. There is no clear distinction between common family conflicts and real family terrors, human frailties and consistent cruelty, doctrinal differences and false or cultic teachings. As a result, depending upon who you talk to, some solid, biblical teachings may also be considered emotionally or spiritually “abusive.”
While we fully acknowledge that true abuse occurs, even in Christian homes, we also recognize that things are not always as they seem. We do not intend to minimize or ignore real issues, or to dismiss or belittle the real pain and abuse some have suffered. Instead, we hope to face these things biblically by offering a theologically sound perspective. Please pray that God would use our efforts to provide clarity, as well as healing and reconciliation, to the disillusioned young women and their families who have been impacted by Quivering Daughters, false doctrine, or serious family conflict.
It is important to remember that “abuse” is a hot button issue. It is a word that, like the words racism and legalism, puts people on edge—it causes an automatic emotional response. True abuse is a tragedy, especially in the Christian family. However, labeling common conflicts and parenting weaknesses, which are present in most families “abuse” is a shame and an insult to the real victims of any sort of domestic oppression. Therefore, by relying on Scripture and wise counsel, our Steadfast contributors will attempt to sort through the various topics with compassion and discernment.
While our hearts break for women and children who are in truly desperate situations, we want to help them realize that neither egalitarianism nor antinomianism is their champion. An abusive man will still be an abusive man in an egalitarian home. A bully must answer to someone. Biblical authority does not create tyrants; it restrains them. And a rejection of God’s law and order does not produce freedom, it creates chaos.
“The solution to abuse within Christian families is not to replace the authority of the church with the autonomous spirituality of a Starbucks Jesus, but to have more of the right type of authority – in this case, the authority of the church which can step in and, if necessary, discipline parents who are [truly] abusing their daughters.”
Furthermore, we believe it is wrong to blame proponents of real biblical patriarchy (father-rule) for the tyrannical actions of selfish men who cloak themselves in a pseudo-patriarchy that does not resemble Christ-like, biblical headship in the least.
On this blog, we will discuss the weaknesses of the “Quivering Daughters” movement; evaluate what is and what is not “abuse;” and sort through any legitimate problems that may be occurring in Christian homeschooling families, including legalism.
In an effort to sort through these issues, Steadfast Daughters will provide articles, reviews, discussion, and interviews for families to sort and pray through. As you read, we ask that you pray, study, and compare all you find to the Truth found in God’s Word!